Is Your Identity Built From Avoidance or Desire?
This is what we are currently contemplating over in the Skool community, if this speaks to you come and join us.
There’s a version of you that was built to be safe, not sovereign.
A version that was created in response to what you didn’t want — rejection, failure, abandonment, being too much, not being enough.
And if you’re honest... that’s the identity most people are still marketing from.
✨ Not-Self identity isn’t always loud.
Sometimes it’s subtle. Sophisticated.
A curated I AM that looks polished — but is actually built on avoidance.
“I help people because I never felt helped.”
“I teach clarity because I spent years confused.”
“I empower women because I know powerlessness.”
“I create safety because I never felt safe.”
It’s not wrong. It’s not fake.
But it’s reactive — not rooted.
This is the pivot:
The Self builds identity through desire, not trauma management.
It doesn’t move from what you’ve survived.
It moves from what turns you on.
And that’s why it’s scary — because desire doesn’t justify itself.
Desire says:
“I don’t want to just help people. I want to experience beauty.”
“I don’t want to just teach. I want to be fully expressed.”
“I don’t want to just be of service. I want to be seen.”
It’s not practical.
It’s not strategic.
It’s not always audience-friendly.
But it’s real.
And the second you stop apologising for it — your actual magnetism wakes up.
So feel into this:
🧲 Are you building your business to avoid a past version of you?
🧲 Or are you letting it become an expression of what you actually want now?
This isn’t about wiping the past.
It's about no longer anchoring your identity in wounds you’ve already healed.
You’re allowed to teach from wholeness.
You're allowed to create without explaining your pain.
You're allowed to want more just because you do.
Desire doesn’t need a reason.
And that’s what makes it holy.
Your body knows the difference.
Avoidance contracts.
Desire expands.
And when you let desire take the mic — even if it’s messy, even if it’s not monetised yet —you start to meet the version of you that was never born from fear.
So here’s the question to sit with:
✨ What are you ready to stop managing… so you can start expressing?
✨ What do you actually want — without earning it, proving it, or branding it?
Let it be raw.
Let it be irrational.
That’s where the Self begins to speak.
L x